Separated by a common language....

My regular walking companions, Robin, Myra and Janna, are two Americans and a Canadian and we have shared many interesting conversations over the last couple of weeks. Strangely though it seems it is sometimes easier to make myself understood to the local population with my rusty Spanish than to my continental cousins from across the water. I have certainly received fewer blank looks from the locals than from my walking companions. In the early days I would tell them about my 'mate' and what a good 'bloke' he was and that occasionally we got a bit 'squiffy' when we 'rocked up' at a bar together. They had no idea what I was talking about. I told them I thought they were 'taking the piss' when they said they didn’t understand what I was saying but seeing as that phrase meant nothing to them either I just got more blank stares....

Then of course there are the days when I feel like Fred Astaire with three Ginger Rogers on my hands in a protracted scene from 'Shall we Dance'. It seems my cousins from across the pond have never eaten a tomato in their lives, they use something different in their salads. And the idea that the potato ever came from the New World is now questionable in my mind. I have determined that I will teach them the Queen's English in the coming weeks. Sadly I can report little in the way of success although we have had a lot of fun with Cockney Rhyming Slang and at least they can understand the following: 'The trouble and strife wanted me to stay in last night but I snuck out while she was on the dog to a mate. I went for a ruby with some friends as I was a bit Hank Marvin. I’m pretty sure the waiter was wearing a syrup, he looked a right plonker. Anyway we got a bit Brahms and I’m paying for it now as I’m a bit Tom.'

My biggest challenge has been to try and convince them that nothing is 'awesome' (or 'arse-some' as it sounds to me) and the word has no place in the English language. 'Outstanding' yes, 'superb' maybe, but 'awesome', never. I have created a personal theory that it is a misappropriation of a phrase from the Gold Rush days when a prospector would 'rock up' at the town to sell his gold and they would ask him what his 'ore sum' was. If this was a lot he would have a big 'ore sum' and this over time became the superlative that is used today. For some reason they refused to believe me when I put this idea to them....